DilipBam.com

TechniJoke By Mahindra 2 Wheelers

User Rating:  / 11
PoorBest 
Share

If you are a biker and know anything about bikes (and skoootres         & especially about WEiGHTs & MEASUREs and engines), and you

need a good laugh, visit the site of Mahindra two wheelers!

Google Mahindra two wheelers! KLiK on the site at the top of the page and it opens www.mahindratwowheelers.com/

The site 0pens with a sudden LOUD sound of a Bh0nopu= =Trumpet / bugle= =bew-gull, honking LOUDLeee into your ears – JisNay mujhe Ch0wKa diya (I was wearing earphones because before this I was watching porn and I like to hear the women screaming).

But this Mahindra’s Mahaan Bh0nonOpu=Bugle is terrible!

It sounded like a FART attack and I almost had HEART attack!

This JARRING sound MUST be removed from the site Kwik Lee Like Bruce Lee udderwise udders may also get HEART attaX due to FART attackck!

After – and if – you live thru the FART attackck, the page shows Mahindra Rise and takes you to the page of Mahindra CENTUR0 with the tagline IT’S GREAT TO BE ME.

But before I go further, just anyhow get to the FLYTESYM specifications. What do you see? Look at the file shot below as at 15:35 pm on Independence Day 2013:

 

In the fifth line from top it is: Petrol Tank==4.5 litres (approx.)!

eh? approx? WTF? Why approx? Is it so difficult to measure the volume/ capacity of Petrol Tank? Gawd! I have accurate plastic measuring flasks costing just a few Rupees by which I can measure EXACT ACCURATE capacity of Petrol Tank! I shall be happy to provide Mahindra with the EXACT Petrol Tank capacity at no charge! Just send me the bike and I will tell you in Ten Minutes!

I dunn0 whether to Laugh or Cry! And when I am in this dilemma, I am reminded of EViTA, the wife of Juan Peron, ex Diktatur of Argentina , and the song: DON’T CRY FOR ME ARGENTiNA!

I decided to laugh.

While laughing, I looked at the next line in the above table.

It says: Kerb Weight==106 kg (approx.)!

eh? approx. again? Is it so difficult to weigh it? Every Railway Station and every Bus Stand in this hole cuntree have Weighing Machines which can EASiLY, ACCURATELY & EXACTLY measure the weight FREE OF COST. My offer to Mahindra stands: Just send me the bike and I will tell you exact Kerb Weight in Ten Minutes! Free of Cost!

From these two basic APPROXiMATiONs I am tending to k0nklude=conclude that Mahindra is an APPROXiMATE company. I think they should change their name from privATE Limited to approximATE Limited!

If they cannot be accurately exact in such basic data as Volume and Weight, can they be exact in other complicated / difficult / expensive to measure parameters like Torque & bhp?

But even before going to such things like Torque & bhp, can we be assured that Mahindra is sure of their APPR0Ximates?

So I looked further down the rows of the table in the above screen shot.

The fourth row after kerb weight again shows

Fuel Tank Capacity==4.15 liters.

eh? Ye kya? Issi ke ooopar likha hai Petrol Tank==4.5 litres (approx.)!

So according to MahindraRise: 4.15==4.5!

Baap-re-baap! Ye kya? Kuch GaD-BaD hai? Ya Good-Bad hai? Kya gadbad hai?

Koi gadbad nahi hai. Screen shot theek se dekh0. Units are different. Spelling of units is different. 4.15 is liters and 4.5 is litres. Idi0T bikeguru Dilip Bam, can’t you see the difference between where the e and r are? Maybe as per MahindraRise, liter and litre are different!

If U still haven’t stopped laughing or crying, there is more:!:!:!:!:!:!!

Go to the row below Fuel Tank Capacity (second from bottom):

Kerb Weight==second_decoder FL MT26

eh? Ye kya hai? Ha Ha! Hee Hee! Hoo Hoo! MahindHraa Hraa! Hroo Hroo! second_decoder FL MT26 kya hota hai? Is it a unit of weight? About that I am not sure, but one thing I am starting to believe: Ganja=Cannabis Indica is cheap!

So are you laughing or crying? Whatever you are doing, there is more!

Look at the specifications of Kine in the fileshot below

 

In the sixth line it shows Max Power==2.8 bhp@ 5500 rpm.

On the same page click on Features and it shows you photos of Features 0ne-by-0ne. One of the photos is of the engine with 3.8 BHP and 71.5 cc clearly written as you can see below:

 

The specifications page as shown in the file-shot above clearly states Max.Power=2.8 bhp@ 5500 rpm.

Now you may say that 71 cc is approximately equal to 71.5. OK.   But 2.8 bhp==3.8 bhp is 36% approximation which is not OK nor acceptable to Archimedes, Pythagoras and Newton!

Unless of-course, Ganja is cheap! Which it is!

Jai Gajanan Maharaj of Shega0n (Maharahtra), who is the Patron Saint of Dr. D.Y. Patil – Chancellor of famous D.Y.Patil University (Maharahtra) – currently Governor of Tripura!

 

You are here: Bikes TechniJoke By Mahindra 2 Wheelers

Newsletter

Follow me on Twitter

We have 35 guests and no members online