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CORPORATE DOG==CORPORATE KUTTA

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What is a Corporate Kutta?==CK ? Who is a CK ? Why is a CK ? How to identify a CK ? 

CK==Corporate + Kutta==TWO units. 1>Corporate. 2>Kutta. 

Let us take these two UNiTs – 0ne by 0ne. 

Since Kutta was on earth before Corporate=human , let us define Kutta first. Many of us might have had Kutta paL0-fied as pet in our house. I also have. I still have. Those who have kutta at home, know that kutta has to be provided PET-BHAR-Khana==stomach full QUANTiTY of food, by a particular Provider, at fixed times, at fixed intervals / durations, so that kutta can survive and thrive till the next time kutta is served food, and thus continue his mandated life as per LAW OF NATURE. In return for the food, the kutta will lick the face, ass and feet of the Provider and wag his tail to show his love and affection to his Provider. Those who have or had PaL0-ed Kutta, kn0 that they cannot lock the house and go away. The kutta will either perish (=die), or will become vagrant=awara=go where food get. 

This being the scenari0, let us separate the quantitative parameters of the above statement (=postulate== Law) from the qualitative parameters, and see if they can be applied to any other species who behave as per the above=postulate=Law. The quantitative parameters are QUANTiTY of food, fixed times & fixed intervals / durations. These are eminently quantifiable and measureable. Food – as in kg; fixed time (periodicity) as indicated in our watch / clock; and duration by time measuring / indicating instrument /device such as watch / clock for one day and calendar for days / weeks / months. 

Is this behavior pattern of kutta shown by any other species? In addition to studying dog, Dilip Bam has studied 0nly two other species: Cat & Human, mainly because Dilip Bam has kept many cats as pet for many years and had opportunity to study cat’s behavior in detail. Human was studied bkoz Dilip Bam considers himself as human, and has been interacting with countless other humans for 65 years. 

Comparing dog and cat, it is seen that they exhibit opposite behaviors & attitudes as follows: 

1. Dog wags tail to show happiness. Cat shakes tail to show anger & aggression. 

2. Dog behaves like servant & slave. Cat behaves as if it is house owner, and human is tenant. 

3. Dog is dependent on Provider. Cat is NOT dependent on provider or anybody else. 

If the three parameters of quantity, periodicity & duration are applied to corporate / govt. employees, what is the commonality? 

1. Quantity==CTC==cost to company or cost to govt. 

2. periodicity==Month==Monthly salary. 

3. Duration==Year==Yearly Appraisal. 

4. Provider==Corporate company or govt. 

So, just as DOG is faithful to the Provider who provides daily sustenance (=food & shelter) regularly. MBA works for corporate (=Provider), gets regular sustenance (salary) at regular interval (monthly), and is faithful to the corporate as long as regular sustenance (salary) keeps coming. 

As dog grows, its food requirement also increases. Similarly, as corporate rises in hierarchy, his requirement also increases. If the corporate matches the aspirations of its employee(s), they remain faithful. 

Mantra of Korporate Dog: “0 Korporate: My fealty and loyalty, my dedication and hard work are pledged to you till the next paycheck date. If the paycheck meeteth my expectation, my loyalty continueth.” 

Mantra of Korporate Dog cunt in youd: “As I rise and my aspirations rise, if thou cunt in you to meet and exceed them, I shall also cunt in you in you. Yet I reserve the right to cunt in you us ly expand my skope and use all skopes, inklooding TELEskope, MiCROskope, PERiskope, KALEiDOskope, STETH0skope etc. to widen my horizon and abandon you as soon as I find a more attraktiv Provider.” 

Everybody who enters even PopatLal Institute of Management Studies wants the ultimate job: Executive Assistant to Steve Jobs. Fcuk, I think even Bill Gates will apply for it – Steve Jobs may or may not accept. These are dreams, and without dreams there is nothing. 

HOW TO RECOGNiZE KORPORAT KUTTA? 

1. Fixed timings: nine to five, ten to six whatever. 

2. SMS is more preferable than talk on fone, especially if you are going to say NO. 

3. They do NOT respond to inconvenient calls and they 99% do NOT return calls. 

4. Before carrying out any activity, look for as many as possible departments / people to get involved so that in case of problem or failure there are many people available to blame. 

5. When anybody giving verbal instructions and asking you to write down, better ask instructor to himself write so that any mistakes in writing can be blamed on writer, not follower. 

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