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TOP GEAR MAGAZiNE REViEW

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TopGear December 2011 issue Hard copy only: 162 pages. 

ToP GeaR or ToP FeaR? Why FEAR? FEAR of mistakes. FEAR of Incomplete and inaccurate data. FEAR of Inconsistent presentation, leading to this reader’s confusion. Read on…… 

Like all udder magazines, the last pages: 131 to 162, give New Car & Bike Guide. Page 131 features “The guide to using our guide”. Bike data begins on page 156, but there is no separate “guide to using our bike guide” for the bike section so I suppose the initial “guide to using our guide” on page 131 applies to bikes also. 

In “the guide to using our guide” on page 131, #03 gives prices in your city. Indicative ex-showroom prices. 0n road for Bombay & Delhi. 

While in the car sexion page 132 to 154 the headings mention Delhi (on road) & Bombai (on road), no such disclaimer is there in the bike sexi0n. Why? What is a reader to assume? Are they 0n-road or ex-showroom? Please explane. Did I pay 100 bucks cash for trash? 

Without wasting time on cages [cars or even caaars], Let me confine myself to bikes for the time being. Specifically pages 156 to 162. Page 156 starts with Harley Davidson (HD). While Dilli and Bombai prices are mostly given, ChainNahi and BangAllWhore prices mostly show: na. 

WTF does na mean? Not available? Not allowed? Not acceptable? WTF? And if it is going to be mostly ‘na’, why not delete those columns bkoz in any case 0ne is Chain Nahi (=no peace) and it is impossible for anyone to BangAllWhores in this hole cunt ree in one lifetime! 

Still on page 156: Luuk under “Sportster”. XL 883L price: Delhi price is shown as 7.9 and Bombai price is shown as 6.48. This is impossible. Every0ne knows that Delhi bike price is always cheapest (except maybe Daman) in the hole cunt ree. Misprint? Somebody goofed and I paid 100 bucks for this goof. Money back? 

Then there is the TG rating. In the Harley Davidson sexi0n, the magazine rates HD Road King as 15/20 (75%) and V-Rod as 16/20 (80%). All udder bikes are rated as ‘na’==na na na == naat at aall! 

After HD it is HeroMotoCorp. No bike of this brand rates more than 15/20, which Karizma gets. Ha ! What kind of megazene is this? Bluddy Splendor is the LARGEST SELLiNG SiNGLE MODEL in the hole of this world! And it is not even featured! 

It should be featured and given 20/20. But the geniuses at ToP FeaR seem to FeaR giving anything 20/20 and don’t even feature it, bkoz if they featured it they would have to give Splendor a 20/20 rating, which ToP FeaR megazene is avoiding doing even though the maximum number of people in this hole world are rooting for Splendor! 

In the 100 cc category (actually 97.2 cc) of Hero, TG has featured Passion but none of the other umpteen derivatives of this 97.2 cc engine – which is OK, but not featuring the 125 cc offerings of Hero is too big a mistake to ignore. Glamour doesn’t even glimmer and Super Splendor (both 125 cc) gets no Superiority. Eh? 

I can point out many more lacunae but I don’t want to make this too long. If you like this and want more, do respond and I will give you more.

 

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